Victoria Williams: 0014

I want to cut my ear off and mail it to someone with a note:
"You're not listening. Try using this."

Prehistoric Fortune Cookies

You will not be able to read this.

Tapeworm Love Songs

Damn, I Wish I Was Your Larva

Victoria Williams: 0013

What Javelins Call Boomerangs

Brown-nosers

Jaded Javelins

I just don't see the point in coming back down sometimes.

Jittery Javelins

a. I'm gonna throw up. Seriously.

b. Look out!

Victoria Williams: 0012

We Were Just Talking No.2

I think she's ugly. She offends my eyes.

Well you're no oil painting yourself.

I know, but I don't have to look at me

Jubilant Javelins

Whee!

Knock Knock: Ailments

Despite a two weeks supply of Knock Knock Ailment "jokes" still in the "bag", "we" have succumbed to "reader" "pressure", and discontinued Knock Knock Ailment Month. Next week will be javelin "week".
~~~
Knock knock
Who's there?
Colic
Colic who?
Let's colic a day

Knock Knock: Ailments

Knock Knock
Who's there?
Fever
Fever who?
Fever just in zee neighbourhood
~~~
Knock Knock
Who's there?
Hay fever
Hay fever who?
Hay, fever just in zee neighbourhood

Victoria Williams: 0011

Test of endurance called to a halt. Finally had to empty my bladder.

Knock Knock: Ailments

Knock knock
Who's there?
Schizophrenia
Schizophrenia who?
Who's on first?

Knock Knock: Ailments

Knock knock
Who's there?
Cramp
Cramp who?
Crampa Joe.

Knock Knock: Ailments

Knock knock
Who's there?
Mumps
Mumps who?
Mumps the word.

Knock Knock: Ailments

Knock knock
Who's there?
Asthma
Asthma who?
Asthma fist.

Victoria Williams: 0010

Love Song of Neisseria Gonorrhoeae
Knock Knock
Who’s there?
Gonorrhoea.
Gonorrhoea Who?
Gonorrhoea’d the fury in thy eyes,
But give me leave I can explain this,
Thus accept flowers and resent not lies,
I have inflamed thy pelvis.

Knock Knock: Ailments

Knock Knock
Who's there?
Jaundice
Jaundice who?
Jaundice telegram or not?