Tuesday, June 30, 2009

Victoria Williams: 0014

I want to cut my ear off and mail it to someone with a note:
"You're not listening. Try using this."

Monday, June 29, 2009

Prehistoric Fortune Cookies

You will not be able to read this.

Friday, June 26, 2009

Tapeworm Love Songs

Damn, I Wish I Was Your Larva

Tuesday, June 23, 2009

Victoria Williams: 0013

Monday, June 22, 2009

No Bells Prize For Literature

[Deleted]

Friday, June 19, 2009

What Javelins Call Boomerangs

Brown-nosers

Thursday, June 18, 2009

Jaded Javelins

I just don't see the point in coming back down sometimes.

Wednesday, June 17, 2009

Jittery Javelins

a. I'm gonna throw up. Seriously.

b. Look out!

Tuesday, June 16, 2009

Victoria Williams: 0012

We Were Just Talking No.2

I think she's ugly. She offends my eyes.

Well you're no oil painting yourself.

I know, but I don't have to look at me

Monday, June 15, 2009

Jubilant Javelins

Whee!

Friday, June 12, 2009

Knock Knock: Ailments

Despite a two weeks supply of Knock Knock Ailment "jokes" still in the "bag", "we" have succumbed to "reader" "pressure", and discontinued Knock Knock Ailment Month. Next week will be javelin "week".
~~~
Knock knock
Who's there?
Colic
Colic who?
Let's colic a day

Wednesday, June 10, 2009

Knock Knock: Ailments

Knock Knock
Who's there?
Fever
Fever who?
Fever just in zee neighbourhood
~~~
Knock Knock
Who's there?
Hay fever
Hay fever who?
Hay, fever just in zee neighbourhood

Tuesday, June 9, 2009

Victoria Williams: 0011

Test of endurance called to a halt. Finally had to empty my bladder.

Monday, June 8, 2009

Knock Knock: Ailments

Knock knock
Who's there?
Schizophrenia
Schizophrenia who?
Who's on first?

Friday, June 5, 2009

Knock Knock: Ailments

Knock knock
Who's there?
Cramp
Cramp who?
Crampa Joe.

Thursday, June 4, 2009

Knock Knock: Ailments

Knock knock
Who's there?
Mumps
Mumps who?
Mumps the word.

Wednesday, June 3, 2009

Knock Knock: Ailments

Knock knock
Who's there?
Asthma
Asthma who?
Asthma fist.

Tuesday, June 2, 2009

Victoria Williams: 0010

Love Song of Neisseria Gonorrhoeae
Knock Knock
Who’s there?
Gonorrhoea.
Gonorrhoea Who?
Gonorrhoea’d the fury in thy eyes,
But give me leave I can explain this,
Thus accept flowers and resent not lies,
I have inflamed thy pelvis.

Monday, June 1, 2009

Knock Knock: Ailments

Knock Knock
Who's there?
Jaundice
Jaundice who?
Jaundice telegram or not?