Victoria Williams: 0049

I think my whole family may have been murdered by Welshmen, or eaten by bats or something. I knew it was going to be a bad day yesterday when I woke up exhausted instead of alert. I forgot my list of chores; I did everything in the wrong order; I got in a temper and tipped a bucket of dirty water over myself; I cursed myself and I cursed my life. And then the whole day turned sourer and nobody answered their phones when I called them. I used to be told frequently that if you think bad thoughts, bad things will happen to you, and to all those who claim this is not true I say, ‘Where’s your proof buddy?’ I can’t believe my family have run away together and I may have to live here for the rest of my life and take care of the tomato plants and this weird menagerie. I’m kind of touched that they thought I’d be responsible and benevolent enough to do that but the thing is I’m NOT.