Victoria Williams: 0029

The Holiday Diaries

17th August 2003

I was half-conscious at three 'o' clock this morning, still under the influence of a dream about a haunted showerhead ("No, stop jerking that around…don't spray that over here!"). Note to self: Increase male stalking activity upon return home.

My Father thinks we have a ghost. This suspicion is based on the downstairs toilet door opening on its own. Could it be Martin? Sharon? Are we to meet our fate here too? The holiday destination of no return? I always picture ghosts as nineteen-year-old boys with bleeding wounds all over their faces. [Coincidentally, the bedroom door has just opened of its own accord.]

In the afternoon, I experimented with acronyming my name. My best offering to date is:

Venereal
Infections
Cause
Kollapse
In
Erections

Which I'm 95% pleased with.